the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
