I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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