the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
