we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
