Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
