waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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