this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
