The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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