jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
