she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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