Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
