guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
