There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
