I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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