My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
