So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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