Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
