oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
