Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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