ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
