You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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