My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
