Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
