Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
