Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
