So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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