Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
