i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
