whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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