So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
