Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
