i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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