What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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