No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
