it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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