So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
