this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
