Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If that was your dad, he is hot
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
