Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
