New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
