Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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