I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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