We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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