he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
