i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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