she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
