She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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