please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
