1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
