In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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